The Wheel, The Guardian, and Endurance

(The picture is sideways because the upright/reversal thing felt important but not straightforward.)

I drew 10: The Wheel today. Change. Cycles. Fate and choice interacting. (I am enjoying all the ways in which this deck interprets archetypes differently – the different names and meanings of the cards.)

There’s a lot going on in the card. To be honest, it doesn’t really resonate with me. So, to help me get a better sense of what to do with this, I drew some commentary cards. (If I’m honest, I found The Wheel an irritating draw this morning. I am feeling very frustrated with the interaction of my choices with the systems around me – with the way that my choices feel so right for me and yet are not making it easier to navigate this capitalist hellscape. I have internalized, even though I hate it and challenge it externally, the idea that if you do the right work – if you follow your heart and your passion – the money will follow. So, Wheel, where’s my money?! And I also found the setting of the card grating. I want to be outdoors! I want to be in the woods doing crafts and communing with nature – my life arranged so that I have long days in a cabin writing, and Skype coaching sessions, and trips into town to meet with clients and travel to conferences. This card looks like a window into a life I want.)

Anyway, commentary cards.

15: The Guardian. Fear and deep knowledge at the entrance to the cave.

And Five of Stones: Endurance. Also at the entrance to a cave.

So I wonder what I am afraid of, what I need to endure, what dark cave I might choose to explore – make a change, turn that wheel, make a choice.

~

I’m not really sure.

I know that I had some kinda feels about those two commentary cards – a sense of calm yesness to the idea of that Guardian, that reminder of my endurance.

But this morning’s cards aren’t speaking to me as clearly or as cleanly as I’d like.

I’ll have to take these thoughts forward into the day and see what happens.

(On which note: Jealousy on Monday ended up making a lot of sense as my sister and I navigated a difficult conversation about our fears for the upcoming project – that sense of scarcity was there, and leaning into the creative and giving nature of the project helped. And Balance yesterday also made a bit more sense at the end of the day, when I made a choice to stop working and take the last part of the evening off. So, we’ll see what happens with these.)

Published by

Gloom Fairy

I'm a genderqueer, queer, poly, kinky, sex-positive, sex-radical feminist and activist and student.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s